Remembrances of Jerusalem

  It has been over a year since I have posted for it has taken that much time to understand some of what that phase had been about. So, in retrospect (always easier) I would like to back track and relay some of my experiences in Jerusalem.  

  I also taken a year to garner some distance from what were some difficult times while in Jerusalem.  A large part of my spiritual self is closely aligned with traditional Christian figures, Jesus or Yeshua, John the Beloved, Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary, etc.  Even as a child I was often transported into a mystical reverie when in a church or other holy place.  I never pursued a Christian church going life as that kind of religious expression never was my cup of tea. That disposition coupled with my rebellious nature has made it seem more like these Christian Beings chose to visit me much more than I went looking for them.  Needless to say, my form of Christianity (if you could can call me one) is no where near main stream and not even anywhere near Liberal Christianity,  Wu-Wu Christianity is more like it.  So when I realized I had been guided to join a Bible-Thumping, Rapture-Awaiting, Apocalyptical, Christian-Zionist, Fundamentalist Church in the Middle East I was a bit uncertain. As it worked out I was to be a guest house volunteer for 6 months in exchange for room and board within the compound of the only Protestant church, Christ Church in the Old City of Jerusalem.  I had trepidations, but I knew I could handle it…. till I was emerged and up to my eye balls in dirty dishes, mops, prayer meetings, and loneliness. 

Christ Church, Old City Jerusalem

Christ Church - Part 1

  Christ Church has a fascinating history.  It sits on a piece of property on the highest elevation within the walled Old City and had once been the site of Herod's palace. The property was acquired in the early 1800's by a British socially elite group of highly political and connected evangelicals called The London Jews Society (LJS) now called CMJ or Christian Ministry to the Jews. LJS's mandate went hand in hand with British national objectives to establish a religiously Protestant and militarily British outpost in the Middle East to offset French, Ottoman/Muslim and Eastern Orthodox Christian superiority in the region. LJS was successful and the compound served as the British Consulate to the outbreak of the First World War. An interesting side note is that Jerusalem in the 1800's was part of the Ottoman-Turk Empire and much to LJS's frustration Christian churches were not allowed to be built on Muslim land.  Hence the church was quasi-illegally built under the loop-hole of it being labeled a hospital chapel.   Christ Church is proud of their history and have a museum within the compound called The Heritage Center.  Another interesting tid-bit is that in the dining room are numerous historical photographs, the largest photo of one person being of Baron Edmond Rothschild… an interesting and revealing tie for a Fundamentalist Church.  

My Journey Part - 1

  I travel back to the time just prior to my departure to Jerusalem.  I had left home, career and gone through all my savings, yet knew my pilgrimage was not over and had no idea when if ever it would be. I was living in Santa Fe, New Mexico and doing what ever "odd" jobs (pun intended) I could to scrape money together.  I was baby sitting and taking care of the elderly, I joked with my friends that they better not get too close to me or I just might diaper them! When I wasn't working my Wu-Wu life continued to thrive and I was psychically visited by a new group of Beings who introduced themselves as Earth Priests.  They claimed to live under the surface of the earth and said they were responsible for guarding an energetic grid and tunnel network associated with Gaia's ascension.  They more specifically referred to themselves as the guardians of the local beneath Jerusalem. Their intention in contacting me was to prepare my energetic field for the work I was to do there.  What work, I did not know, and it has taken me over a year to fully comprehend some of what I was doing during those first 6 months of 2012.

  While I was raised Episcopalian (an version of Anglicanism), and had a profound psychic connection to Jesus (or Yeshua as I called him), I really had no idea of the theology of the specific Anglican group I was to be a member of.  I have spent my adult life in and around New York City and the closest I had gotten to hard-line fundamentalism were militant vegans.  My colleagues at Christ Church were preparing for the Rapture. As standard routine we attended daily charismatic prayer meetings and were asked to share our personal testimonials as to how we met Jesus. (I wanted to ask if channeling Mary Magdalene held me in good stead, but decided against it.)  I don't mean to be too cynical but my private incredulousness, (and to be fair most people would view my Wu-Wu life with more than a bit of incredulousness) was often what kept me going during the day. 

 The dirty dishes piled up with amazing speed in the dining room at Christ Church.  More frusterating still nothing much spiritually exciting was taking place... I mean there were the events I blogged about but all in all, not many psychic fireworks, had I come all this way for some seriously chapped hands? By the time I was two months in I was lonely and more than a little irritable.  Often during my daily break I would walk down the lane and out the Zion Gate onto Mount Zion.  Here I was introduced to the Hagia Maria Sion Abbey of the Virgin Mary.

  

Hagia Maria Sion Abbey of the
Virgin Mary

Underground Crypt dedicated to the Feminine

Under the main church is a stunning crypt built in homage to the feminine.  In an environment as energetically hard as Israel, this crypt was a welcome refuge.  Within this underground sanctuary I found a side niche that had for me the strongest energy I had experienced in Jerusalem.  It became clear to me that the mosaic above the niche's altar contained a psychic portal through which the Ascended Master Melchizedek moved. Melchezidek often visited me there and and when I found myself alone in the crypt I would channel him.   

                                                      

Side Niche in the Crypt 

Christ Church - Part - 2

 The theology at Christ Church is eschatological and can best be summed up thus: 

1-The forming of the State of Israel and the subsequent "ingathering" of Jews is understood to be a prerequisite for the Second Coming of Jesus. 

2-Their belief that because of the Jews' rejection of Jesus, Jewish sovereignty over the promised earthly kingdom of Jerusalem and Palestine was postponed from the time of Christ's first coming until prior to or just after his Second Coming when most or all Jews will embrace him. 

3- There will be a "rapture" of the Gentile church followed by a "great tribulation" of seven (or three-and-a-half) years' duration during which Antichrist will arise and Armageddon will occur. 

4- Then Jesus will return visibly to earth and re-establish the nation of Israel.

5- The Jewish temple will be rebuilt in Jerusalem on the Temple Mount, possibly in place of the Muslim Dome of the Rock. 

6- Christ and the people of Israel will reign in Jerusalem for a thousand years, followed by a "Last Judgement" and and a new heaven and new earth….

  I said, "Wowzers!"… pretty heady stuff, it took me awhile to get my head around all of this, but it was absolutely fascinating.  The most significant part of what I just laid out is held in number 5- Christ Church's belief that the Jewish temple will be rebuilt in Jerusalem on the Temple Mount, possibly in place of the Muslim Dome of the Rock.  As the site of Mohammad's ascension to heaven, The Dome of the Rock is a holy, holy place in Islam second only to Mecca. I found myself wondering what were Christ Church's intentions?

  My journey Part - 2

  During this musing there was no abatement in the pile of dirty dishes in the dining room. I continued to get more depressed and irritable as I awaited "something Wu-Wu" to happen that would make sense as to why I had been called to this fundamentalist enclave.  I was being somewhat spiritually nourished by a repeated visits to the crypt and a number of other power spots in the Old City.  One of theses locals in the center on the Old City was on a roof top where the four quadrants of the Old City meet; Armenian, Christian, Muslim and Jewish.  From this perch I had a visual line of site in a roughly due east direction of the three pinnacles of The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, The Dome of The Rock and just outside the Old Cities walls on the Mount of Olives the gold gilded turrets of The Church of Mary Magdalene.

Looking West - From the Mount of Olives; The Dome of the Rock with the Church of the Holy Sepulcher behind it 

Looking East from the roof top - The Dome of the Rock with The Church of Mary Magdalene behind it 

  During these visits to the roof top I was repeatedly asked psychically to energetically connect these three spires. 

  

  

  As the weeks went by I became acquainted with my fellow volunteers and with the staff at Christ Church.  From them I began to understand the ways Christ Church planned to participate in "The End Times".  I learned that early on during construction on the compound a Herodian Tunnel had been discovered beneath the property, where the tunnel leads and what state it is in is a closely held secret by Christ Church. In their keen interest in discovering more about the underground tunnel system considerable amount of money had been spent in the procurement and transportation to the Heritage Center of various large models built in the early 1800's by the premier architect of the time Conrad Schick and others. The knowledge that is not made public is that the tunnel leads directly to The Temple Mount. In light of "The End Times" scenario as understood by Christ Church the significance of such a tunnel is huge. 

Temple Mount Model with removable sections showing the underground systems below 

  

  In addition to these discoveries I was also beginning to have some understanding of the dullness and heaviness I was experiencing.  I dawned on me that I was truly living the Middle East…  I was, like so many other souls dependent upon for basic food and shelter and living within a fundamentalist religious sub-group.  I dare not speak my own thoughts, my own truth, my own feelings for I would surely be asked to leave and rightfully so.  The only difference between me and the other many souls in this predicament was that I had chosen to be where I was. I finally realized I was meant to struggle through this particular kind of isolation for the work I had come to do could not be done in the role of spiritual tourist but needed to be done from within the spiritual/emotional/political structure of Jerusalem itself. 

  The understanding of the cause of the lethargy allowed some shifts in my thought process.  I at last remembered the visitations in Santa Fe by the Beings who called themselves Earth Priests and their specific role as guardians of the tunnels and grid systems beneath Jerusalem….Ahhh, Ummm, Oops, I had forgotten about them.  

  It was after this revelation that a fellow Wu-Wu compadre showed up for a weeks stay in the guest house at Christ Church.  She coincidentally had been called to energetically connect all the churches in the Old City. At last, I made a friend in whom I could reveal my own understanding of Christ Church, the Earth Priests and the tunnel.  It was early April and as the Universe would have it that week was Passover. Christ Church was having a large Christian version of the traditional Jewish Seder meal for all staff and guests.  I was on the kitchen crew that evening and as fate would have it when it came time to all sit down for dinner the staff table was full.  A guest at the head table saw my plight and motioned for me to sit at the other end of the table, directly across from the head reverend who would be performing the Seder.  My friend sat in the exact same position at the table next to me.  It was clear that this energetic alignment was no coincidence.  I understood that during the Seder when all guests and staff were involved in religious ceremony I was to excuse myself,  return to the kitchen, grab a flashlight and approach the barred entrance to the tunnel. What I would do there I did not know.

  All went as I had envisioned and as I approached the entrance to the tunnel I began to move into an altered state.  My body began to shake as I felt like something deep from within that was about to be released.  I allowed myself to vocalize this sensation and the most amazing tones began to issue forth from my shaking body.  These sounds penetrated deep into the tunnel, for how long I do not know.  When whatever force was using my body to sound these tones was complete I returned to my shaky senses and returned to the dining room as the Passover Seder meal was finished.  

My Journey Part - 3

  My Israeli visa expired in early June and April was coming to a close.  I still had no idea of where I would be heading next.  I had no plan what so ever and as much as I had come to trust the process I was in I was beginning to feel more than a little panicky.  As much as I had placed my entire life in the hands of this process I still often wondered if any of this malarkey was real… where was the guidance I needed to foresee my next phase and place of residence?  I as I am known to do from time to time in meditation I fumed at the Beings who had been guiding my pilgrimage.  I actually was in a quite a spiritual crisis, terrified that I had given up so much for what, chapped hands?  What was any of this for anyway?  What was I doing here?  It was while in this vulnerable state at my spot in Hagia Maria Sion Abbey of the Virgin Mary underground crypt while ranting at and pleading with Jesus and Melchizedek that I noticed something. 

On the altar before me sat a golden tabernacle which had been there during all my meditations, what I had never noticed was that here was writing at the base of it.  This distraction from my trauma allowed me to take in just what it said, "Jues sacerdos in aeternum secundum ordinem Melchisedech" which is Latin for "Jesus a priest forever, according to the order of Melchizedeck".  Okay, I felt a little better.

My Journey Part - 4

  A number of weeks later (and quite another story) I found myself back in Manhattan where this pilgrimage all started.  I wanted to write this piece because a connection dawned on me that I been working with the Earth Priests to open up under and above the Old City of Jerusalem a series energetic systems originating from the Melchizedek portal in the underground crypt dedicated to the sacred feminine outside the Old Cities walls on Mount Zion to an underground tunnel on the site of the Herod's Palace which became the British Consulate. This system then connects via the tunnel at Christ Church to the Temple Mount.  Upon reaching the Temple Mount  the pathway connects to the linkages I had made from the four quadrants roof top site, energetically connecting to The Church of the Holy Sepulcher, The Temple Mount and out of the Old City walls to rejoin the sacred feminine at The Church of Mary Magdalene on the Mount of Olives. 

  Gaia is ascending and we are a part of her.  We are joined by numerous other Beings during this time of planetary awakening.  Part of our work is to open up closed, dark, constricted energy fields around the planet facilitating and easing the release of the fear grids that have held rigid paradigms of strife in powerful spiritual epicenters like Jerusalem. Not only are we learning how to work with these energies, we becoming aware that it is precisely our 3rd dimensional selves that master these energies thus transformming our 3rd dimensional reality into an ascended state. 

The Garden of Gethsemane

  A little over a year and a half ago in May of 2010 two friends and I made a pilgrimage to Egypt, Israel and Jordan.  In preparation for an initiation I was to receive in Israel I was blessed while in still Egypt to be visited by the Archangels Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael.  These Celestial Beings each guard one of the four directions protecting the Holy of Holies contained in the Ark of the Covenant.  It was in this structural capacity that these four came to me to open an energetic corridor through which my future spiritual work was to be done.  

 The unexpected initiation began in Jerusalem while walking down a steep lane from the top of The Mount of Olives. One of my friends encountered a young man carrying a guitar, she enquired if he and his group were going to be singing and if we might join them.  He readily agreed and we next found ourselves at a wrought iron gate being opened from within by a cassocked priest.  I was awed as I realized we were being ushered into The Garden of Agony.  This garden sits across the narrow way from The Garden of Gethsemane and was once contiguous to it. The Garden of Agony is where Jesus contemplated his path the night before he was arrested, the path which lead to his crucifixion, agony indeed.  The garden is powerful guarded by ancient olive trees over 2000 years old and living witnesses to what has transpired in their presence. 

  My friends and I very soon realized the group the group we had joined were Born Again Christians from Texas!  The three of us, fresh from our Egyptian temple activations with Ra, Isis, Osiris and company were certainly an interesting and ironic addition to this fundamentalist gathering.  We wisely and respectfully kept our mouths closed and joined in their praises to our mutual Creator.  

  My observing eye enjoyed this sight.  There we were in that awe inspiring garden, sitting in a circle of Texans with guitars, hallelujahs, bibles and hands raised all in a chorus of song.  The leader of this pilgrimage was an impassioned ex-stewardess on a mission.  This event in The Garden was the highlight of their journey and we were privileged to join them.  After much fervent prayer the woman began to make her way around the circle giving individual Prophecy and Laying on of Hands to each participant.  

  My friends and I were the last minute additions to this group and our blessings was held to last.  She approached to the right of me and blessed my traveling companions. I was amazed by the intimacy and accuracy with which she prophesied  to each.  She was genuinely channeling The Holy Spirit, The Shekhinah in Hebrew.  And, it was my turn next.

  She took some oil and with it made the Sign of the Cross on my forehead.  She then spoke, "I anoint your ministry, for your heart is as the Heart of God.  As such, you will travel the world to awaken the non-believers."  

  If I were sitting on a chair I would have fallen off it.  This was exactly the same message I had been receiving for months prior.  I understood from that moment the purpose of the corridor opened by the Archangels in Egypt.  I was indeed being prepared to offer consciousness awakening activations to many and in many places. 

  To my right Michael and to my left Gabriel, in front of me Uriel and behind me Raphael, and over my head God's Shekhinah." 

  —From the Hebrew prayer Kriat Shema

The Garden of Gethsemane

  

A Girl's Initiation

  In Jewish culture a ritual called a Bat Mitzvah is perfumed for a 12 year old girl on the threshold of womanhood.  A few days ago, after this official rite was given to a specific girl here in Israel her mother, her mother's close friend, sister and I made a pilgrimage through the Old City of Jerusalem.  In the synagogue the Bat Mitzvah had been completed, today the purpose of our journey was to escort this girl across an unseen barrier through which she would encounter the woman she had become. 

  My friend and I met in a coffee shop where were soon to meet the girl, her mother and aunt.  Once they arrived we continued our chit-chat, the girl eagerly joining in eyes sparkling bright and excited.  Her mother, a neat and tidy looking woman glanced at her daughter and made it a point to note that she personally does not get excited easily but was feeling happily anticipatory.  

  We departed and walked into the Old City traveling the old narrow shop lined streets finding our way to a metal staircase leading up to what is locally called "The Roof of the World".  This location is considered one of many of Jerusalem's many "centers", it being the meeting point of the the four quarters of the Old City; Jewish, Christian, Armenian and Muslim. Thus, it is the center of Jerusalem which has been in turn considered the center of the world for centuries.  The physical place actually consists of a concrete collection of adjoining roof tops above numerous stores below, a roughly marked spot on one roof indicates the four quarter intersection. 

  The girl sat down cross-legged at this center of the world as we women stood around her each of us taking one of the four directions.  As opening prayers and invocations were said I became aware we had been joined by a circle of Beings from ancient Central America.  They were priestesses from the Sun and Moon Pyramids in the Mesoamerican temple complex of Teotihuacán.  Around us they vigorously stomped their bell clad feet, hands raised they circled chanting in high pitched voices, "Lu, lu, lu, lu….!'''   I was able to relay some of what these powerful sounds were like, for to me they sounded much like middle-eastern woman's traditional vocalizing.  I was happy to see the girl's mother across from me nodding and smiling. 

  We then sat down around the child and she began to speak.  She tearfully thanked her mother and aunt for allowing her to be who she was.  She tenderly went on to relay how she needs them both to show her the way to be who she should to be.  My friend then gently asked if she might want to change the words "should be" to "want to be" or even "like to be"?  This wise advice went on deaf ears, at least for that moment…

  We proceeded to another one of Jerusalem's "centers", this time to Christianity's The Church of the Holy Sepulchre.  Two days previously I had visited the church and come across a small cave like opening off a seemingly unused room behind one of the doors in the vast semi-circular Rotunda.  I later found out that traditionally this cave was thought to be Joseph of Arimathea's 1st century tomb given for Jesus's burial after the crucifixion.  I approached the child and told her that she was being prepared for a rite of passage, that she was to step into this tomb to face her internal fears.  I asked if she was ready, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Yes."

  We approached the small entrance and the girl crouched and stepped in.  Her mother instinctually followed.  I entered and once fully upright I let then two know that I would be making a tone to clear the space.  I toned and the girl faced a wall where at heart level a candle held by an old brass bowl lit her chest and the tomb's interior.  Her mother prayed behind her arms outstretched.  My toning continued and I was surprised as my own mediocre voice as it made beautiful sounds reverberating off the walls.  As we emerged and I turned to see the mother beaming, shaking a finger and pointing at me. I realized she had just received a major heart chakra activation and she absolutely knew it!

  We rejoined the two other women and left the church.  We continued our pilgrimage walking to the top of a small street Al-Kotel.  This street winds it's way down to another of Jerusalem's "centers" the Western Wall.  This wall is all that remains of 1st century Jewish Second Temple.  Also known as The Wailing Wall it is a place of holy pilgrimage for the Jewish people.  We stood with anticipation at the top of the street that would lead us to this revered place. My friend took off her head scarf and placed it over the girls eyes as she went on to explain that she would now be crossing the threshold into her womanhood.  Down the many steps, twisting and turning the small street brought us to guards and metal detectors, a modern day passage through which one must travel before entry is permitted.  Once through we continued down still more steps and across the plaza to stand in the women's section at the base of the ancient wall.  Here, still blindfolded more prayers were said into the girl's twelve year old ears.  From the spirit realms an ancient Jewish matriarch joined me.  She would not give me her name, but told me she was with us to open the girls voice.  I stood behind the girl, held her shoulders and spoke in her ear the wishes of the Elder.  Through me she asked the child to place her attention inside her throat, to feel it as it opened.  She asked me to remind the girl that in Hebrew the word for wind and spirit are the same, "ruah" and to let this flow through her core.  The Elder proclaimed this girl as a "Truth-teller"  and prophesied that she would speak to many souls of the knowledge she carried.  

  My friend them removed her scarf from the girls eyes.  Eyes free, she looked up at the Wall that means so very much to her people and smiled.  We began to depart walking backwards as not to turn our backs to the Temple which is the tradition of the place.  We reached the upper plaza and there the girl began to speak.  She said once the scarf had been placed over her eyes she had moved out of time and space.  That she now understood her life's purpose, she acknowledged the ancient Elder's words as her own, that she was a "Truth-teller" and that she would tell many what she knew.  For she understood that first one must know oneself fully, and only then will they know they are no longer Jewish, Cristian or Muslim, that they are all the same people, brothers and sisters on this very planet.  It would now be her path to always tell this truth.  What struck me most profoundly was the profound change that had transpired in this young person, gone was the teary child afraid to move forward without being told who she "should" be by the adults in her life. 

  The five of us formed a circle holding hands we closed the ceremony.  Prayers were said and I was aware of the Egyptian Goddess Nut, sky goddess made up of the stars of the Milky Way bending over us holding our space.  It then became obvious to me to point out to the one who this ritual was for, that as a girl she had begun this day at the center of four woman.  Now she had intuitively moved joining the circle one with us, holding hands there in that center of Jerusalem.  She nodded her head and smiled. 

  Then something unexpected happened.  Her mother who was standing next to me reached up and held my forearm.  She began to tell me how while at The Wall she was almost forced to look at me.  She continued on about how she felt that she should be looking at her daughter as it was her day of transition, but as much she longed to her attention was rapt on me.  She then began to swoon, clutched my arms with both hands and leaned her weight onto me.  She then told of how during our closing prayers she had seen and felt a clear white spiral of energy entering our circle through the top of her head, it then spiraled down dropping into the earth.  Finally, at that point I began to realize what was gong on!  I quickly and lightly explained to the somewhat confused and scared twelve year old that her mother was fine and was out collecting some stardust for her.  I explained about the Goddess Nut, made of stars had joined us during prayers and was here for her mother and that she would soon be back.  I then asked the rather limp mother to move her body, wiggle her toes and then to stomp her feet to feel herself returning.  Toes wiggling and smiling this neat and tidy mother who had earlier proclaimed, "I don't get too easily excited about things"  stomped with abandon!

  I hugged and thanked her.  I told more about what had just occurred, that she had received two major awakenings of her psychic self and that she should expect some rather profound events to occur in her life as a result.  I also told her that I had come to Jerusalem to facilitate this type of work and that her willingness to enter these realms had been such a gift. It was an incredible confirmation of my own personal path.  

  All I can say is "Wow".  It seems I am to understand that I do not have to "do" anything, (big relief.)  The activations I am asked to provide happen around me as a result of the Beings who travel with and through me.  I was so blessed to have been part of this day.   

Temple of the Moon 

Church of the Holy Sepulchre

Joseph of Arimathea's Tomb

Rotunda

Western Wailing Wall

Goddess Nut

Jordan River and an Otter

 It came quite unexpectedly, the first request for me to officiate a ceremony.  I had just met two men and a woman from Tel Aviv who were also up in the north of Israel visiting a friend near the Sea of Galilee.  The intention of their trip was to call forth the creation of a new human being.  The men were a couple in a long standing relationship. The woman who was to become the mother of their child and tonight was to be the night she was to be inseminated.  The three of them requested a ceremony to be held in the Jordan River the purpose of which was to release any fears or blocks associated with this dream.  

 We were guided to a spot down stream from where Yeshua was baptized by John the Baptist.  The Jordan River at this local is like a small pond full of still thick blue green water appearing like a primordial gel. As we approached the water's edge we were greeted by an otter swimming gently down stream and parting the waters with the wake of her body.  Otter in many Native American spiritual traditions represents woman's medicine.  Otter has always been the foundation totem animal of my native spiritual guides.  That Otter came to us opening the ceremony was a powerful message both for myself and the woman who was asking to become a mother.  

 We followed Otter's initiation with the woman stepping into the cold banks of the river.  Her eyes became the color of the water and we were met by the spirit of Eingana the creator goddess of the Australian aborigines.  It immediately became clear that we were not here to release this woman's fears, but in being here she had already faced the fears necessary to be present in this moment.  She was not afraid, but open, ready and powerful.  I felt my womb space open as her's was blessed and made ready to receive.

 Following that moment one of the men stood forward for he was to provide his seed that evening.  As he stepped into the Jordan a powerful being descended into our midst.  Mahakala, Tibetan Buddhism's most powerful protector deity was with us guarding and protecting the corridor through which this child's essence would travel joining his or her fathers physical being.  The man's body felt the jolt of Mahakala's presence and his eyes sparkled with the knowledge of what had just occurred.  The child was indeed with us, a child would come forth that night.

 Shortly there after while we rested on the bank another deity, Avalokiteshvara made himself known.  Avalokiteshvara is the bodhisattva who embodies the compassion of all the Buddhas.  He was present to advise that he had been amongst us with Mahakala holding and blessing the ceremony.   Through the power of this intention he had swept away any doubt or fear that had been released into the river.  The otter then returned slowly making her way back up the still river, closing the ceremony with the wake of her body.  

 The men and woman left ahead of me and I paused to thank the river.  The otter turned around and swam to the river's bank at the shore where I stood.  She raised herself up, paws resting on the sand beneath the surface of the water.  She looked at me, nodded her head and departed.  I kid you not!!! 

                                                                  Jordan River

                             River Otter

                                                                      

                                               Enigana

Avalokiteshvara

    Mahakala                                                                

Thinking of Blogging and More

Dear friends, 

  I write to you all with so much love and gratitude during this holiday season.  I hope that you and your families are well with ample time to share festivities, food and accompanying merriment.  I take this opportunity to write about my latest and maybe most profound shift of locale and consciousness.  I find myself days into a new living situation, in a new city, and in a new country. Most of you already know this or know me well enough to not be surprised by this advent.  Likewise, most of you also have been on this journey with me and know my pilgrimage began almost six years ago in Barcelona, Spain. Today, I find myself almost de-jet lagged staying with friends in the city of Jerusalem, Israel. 

 I write not only to say hello but because I have decided to begin a blog, something I have been very reticent to do.  My general sense of blogging is at best one of shameless self promotion and at worst rabid narcissism.  All in all, not a road I wanted to go down.  I begin this process then not because I think my navel is particularly interesting, but for reasons which I will relay have made it almost impossible not to.  I start then with the intention to share my experiences and in so doing I hope to say something larger than expressing my own myopic process.  

  The decision to write a blog coincides with my growing understanding that something significant is about to occur in the outer manifestations of my life.  I have been on a arduous internal journey since that time in Barcelona. As most of you have witnessed, this process has seen me leave behind outgrown relationships, resign from a long held professional position, relocate to Santa Fe, sell all of my belongings and spend months at a time in Thailand, India and a Tibetan retreat center in Colorado.  So many of you have been with me during the dark nights of the soul, where I learned to trust friendship and to live in the creative messy stew of the unknown.  I sense (finally!) with my arrival in Jerusalem that the time has arrived for me to do that which I have been preparing for.  

  I more than suppose that the natural question one might ask is (and it is more than likely you have already asked me)…  what exactly are you preparing for?  To that  question I answer most simply that I have learned to run a numerous types of psychic energies through my physical and spiritual body.  Many of you are aware of the terms prana or chi (as in Tai Chi) and might also be aware of a type of alternative healing energy called Reiki.  I offer similar energies to whomever might benefit, affecting spiritual self in what might be described as an awakening process.  And to that you might rationally respond, is that for real!? In all honesty, who knows!?  To that I can only offer that it certainly feels real, as real as my typing fingers are to me.  I want to write, to share this process while I am in Jerusalem and beyond. I look forward to a forum in which to share the coming events as they unfold, (or don't unfold…in the case that I actually am having a extended peri-menopausal meltdown!)  

 The inner knowing that my outer life is shifting has made it clear that I am about to change my name. It is not that I do not identify with my Christened name, "Cynthia" which ironically means Goddess of the Moon in Greek, (which I admit I think is pretty cool).  But, it is that in my concept of self I no longer feel like the person I once recognized as "Cynthia".  I believe that our words matter, that what one calls something, someone or oneself is profoundly important. It is not insignificant that in the Gospel of John it is written, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." and the ancient Hindu Vedas read "In the beginning was Brahman with whom was the Word, and the Word is Brahman".  In an attempt to grasp the nature of all this I have joined many fellow searchers interested in melding the realms of traditional psychotherapy, spiritual growth in East/West and indigenous religious traditions with the alternative metaphysical concepts.  I find the somewhat Wu-Wu concept of the activation of our dormant (what main stream science unknowingly calls our "junk") DNA to be a very promising course of inquiry. Taking a step back from these mental constructs and a breath of air, (good idea) I have ultimately found an undramatic bottom line truth and have come to rest there. It is simply that people change…. that we, and specifically that I am capable of profound, life altering change.  In my life that is very good news. 

 So, after all that…. What I am changing my name to?  While in meditation I often heard the name Ammahnda, (pronounced Ah-mahn-da).  The name has no root lineage that I am aware of.  I simply kept hearing it and it feels like me.  I am here in Jerusalem hosted for the holidays by my dear friends Batya and Goyo.  They both coincidentally (?) have also changed their names, and thus are eager and thoughtful participants in giving me an initiatory time as Ammahnda.   It is comforting to witness how naturally at ease I am when addressed as Ammahnda.  It is this internal response, validating this time as the major turning point I have long anticipated. 

 For my dear friends who like to know where I will be sleeping and what I will be eating, (I so love you friends who are pragmatists!)  while I am here in Jerusalem, I am working and living at a guest house affiliated with a church with in the walls of the Old City.  I begin work on January 1st 2012, doing exactly what, I still do not know! 

  The blog is called not very creatively, (but none the less succinctly) "Ammahnda's Blog" and can be found at ammahnda.blogspot.com.  I have yet to post as this letter to all was necessary before I began. 

 I thank you for your love and friendship.  Happy, happy holidays.

 Warmly,  Ammahnda