Jordan River and an Otter

 It came quite unexpectedly, the first request for me to officiate a ceremony.  I had just met two men and a woman from Tel Aviv who were also up in the north of Israel visiting a friend near the Sea of Galilee.  The intention of their trip was to call forth the creation of a new human being.  The men were a couple in a long standing relationship. The woman who was to become the mother of their child and tonight was to be the night she was to be inseminated.  The three of them requested a ceremony to be held in the Jordan River the purpose of which was to release any fears or blocks associated with this dream.  

 We were guided to a spot down stream from where Yeshua was baptized by John the Baptist.  The Jordan River at this local is like a small pond full of still thick blue green water appearing like a primordial gel. As we approached the water's edge we were greeted by an otter swimming gently down stream and parting the waters with the wake of her body.  Otter in many Native American spiritual traditions represents woman's medicine.  Otter has always been the foundation totem animal of my native spiritual guides.  That Otter came to us opening the ceremony was a powerful message both for myself and the woman who was asking to become a mother.  

 We followed Otter's initiation with the woman stepping into the cold banks of the river.  Her eyes became the color of the water and we were met by the spirit of Eingana the creator goddess of the Australian aborigines.  It immediately became clear that we were not here to release this woman's fears, but in being here she had already faced the fears necessary to be present in this moment.  She was not afraid, but open, ready and powerful.  I felt my womb space open as her's was blessed and made ready to receive.

 Following that moment one of the men stood forward for he was to provide his seed that evening.  As he stepped into the Jordan a powerful being descended into our midst.  Mahakala, Tibetan Buddhism's most powerful protector deity was with us guarding and protecting the corridor through which this child's essence would travel joining his or her fathers physical being.  The man's body felt the jolt of Mahakala's presence and his eyes sparkled with the knowledge of what had just occurred.  The child was indeed with us, a child would come forth that night.

 Shortly there after while we rested on the bank another deity, Avalokiteshvara made himself known.  Avalokiteshvara is the bodhisattva who embodies the compassion of all the Buddhas.  He was present to advise that he had been amongst us with Mahakala holding and blessing the ceremony.   Through the power of this intention he had swept away any doubt or fear that had been released into the river.  The otter then returned slowly making her way back up the still river, closing the ceremony with the wake of her body.  

 The men and woman left ahead of me and I paused to thank the river.  The otter turned around and swam to the river's bank at the shore where I stood.  She raised herself up, paws resting on the sand beneath the surface of the water.  She looked at me, nodded her head and departed.  I kid you not!!! 

                                                                  Jordan River

                             River Otter

                                                                      

                                               Enigana

Avalokiteshvara

    Mahakala                                                                

Thinking of Blogging and More

Dear friends, 

  I write to you all with so much love and gratitude during this holiday season.  I hope that you and your families are well with ample time to share festivities, food and accompanying merriment.  I take this opportunity to write about my latest and maybe most profound shift of locale and consciousness.  I find myself days into a new living situation, in a new city, and in a new country. Most of you already know this or know me well enough to not be surprised by this advent.  Likewise, most of you also have been on this journey with me and know my pilgrimage began almost six years ago in Barcelona, Spain. Today, I find myself almost de-jet lagged staying with friends in the city of Jerusalem, Israel. 

 I write not only to say hello but because I have decided to begin a blog, something I have been very reticent to do.  My general sense of blogging is at best one of shameless self promotion and at worst rabid narcissism.  All in all, not a road I wanted to go down.  I begin this process then not because I think my navel is particularly interesting, but for reasons which I will relay have made it almost impossible not to.  I start then with the intention to share my experiences and in so doing I hope to say something larger than expressing my own myopic process.  

  The decision to write a blog coincides with my growing understanding that something significant is about to occur in the outer manifestations of my life.  I have been on a arduous internal journey since that time in Barcelona. As most of you have witnessed, this process has seen me leave behind outgrown relationships, resign from a long held professional position, relocate to Santa Fe, sell all of my belongings and spend months at a time in Thailand, India and a Tibetan retreat center in Colorado.  So many of you have been with me during the dark nights of the soul, where I learned to trust friendship and to live in the creative messy stew of the unknown.  I sense (finally!) with my arrival in Jerusalem that the time has arrived for me to do that which I have been preparing for.  

  I more than suppose that the natural question one might ask is (and it is more than likely you have already asked me)…  what exactly are you preparing for?  To that  question I answer most simply that I have learned to run a numerous types of psychic energies through my physical and spiritual body.  Many of you are aware of the terms prana or chi (as in Tai Chi) and might also be aware of a type of alternative healing energy called Reiki.  I offer similar energies to whomever might benefit, affecting spiritual self in what might be described as an awakening process.  And to that you might rationally respond, is that for real!? In all honesty, who knows!?  To that I can only offer that it certainly feels real, as real as my typing fingers are to me.  I want to write, to share this process while I am in Jerusalem and beyond. I look forward to a forum in which to share the coming events as they unfold, (or don't unfold…in the case that I actually am having a extended peri-menopausal meltdown!)  

 The inner knowing that my outer life is shifting has made it clear that I am about to change my name. It is not that I do not identify with my Christened name, "Cynthia" which ironically means Goddess of the Moon in Greek, (which I admit I think is pretty cool).  But, it is that in my concept of self I no longer feel like the person I once recognized as "Cynthia".  I believe that our words matter, that what one calls something, someone or oneself is profoundly important. It is not insignificant that in the Gospel of John it is written, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." and the ancient Hindu Vedas read "In the beginning was Brahman with whom was the Word, and the Word is Brahman".  In an attempt to grasp the nature of all this I have joined many fellow searchers interested in melding the realms of traditional psychotherapy, spiritual growth in East/West and indigenous religious traditions with the alternative metaphysical concepts.  I find the somewhat Wu-Wu concept of the activation of our dormant (what main stream science unknowingly calls our "junk") DNA to be a very promising course of inquiry. Taking a step back from these mental constructs and a breath of air, (good idea) I have ultimately found an undramatic bottom line truth and have come to rest there. It is simply that people change…. that we, and specifically that I am capable of profound, life altering change.  In my life that is very good news. 

 So, after all that…. What I am changing my name to?  While in meditation I often heard the name Ammahnda, (pronounced Ah-mahn-da).  The name has no root lineage that I am aware of.  I simply kept hearing it and it feels like me.  I am here in Jerusalem hosted for the holidays by my dear friends Batya and Goyo.  They both coincidentally (?) have also changed their names, and thus are eager and thoughtful participants in giving me an initiatory time as Ammahnda.   It is comforting to witness how naturally at ease I am when addressed as Ammahnda.  It is this internal response, validating this time as the major turning point I have long anticipated. 

 For my dear friends who like to know where I will be sleeping and what I will be eating, (I so love you friends who are pragmatists!)  while I am here in Jerusalem, I am working and living at a guest house affiliated with a church with in the walls of the Old City.  I begin work on January 1st 2012, doing exactly what, I still do not know! 

  The blog is called not very creatively, (but none the less succinctly) "Ammahnda's Blog" and can be found at ammahnda.blogspot.com.  I have yet to post as this letter to all was necessary before I began. 

 I thank you for your love and friendship.  Happy, happy holidays.

 Warmly,  Ammahnda